End of the year reflection

Regrets …end of the year reflection~ nothing more, nothing less!

Regret:( to feel sad, repentant, or disappointed over (something that has happened or been done, especially a loss or missed opportunity). This is one definition of regret and I think it sums up my personal definition of “all” the regrets of my life. The older I get the “regrets of things not done” anger me more than the regrets over the things I have done. Missed opportunities, the “what ifs” of life are c onstantly creeping into my daily thoughts. In my case, my own insecurities are what have held me back in life. I was and still am to some degree my own worst enemy. In times of war, the opposing party tries to “get into” the minds of their enemies, to strategize what their next move might be. This is hard to do when your mind IS the enemy camp! I realize that it is pointless and not productive to dwell on the past since I can’t time travel back and change any of it; and if I could change the past, how much of what I love about the present would never come to fruition. So, what’s a middle-aged woman to do? I can sulk, which is very unbecoming at my age, or I can look towards the future. Since I am not dead yet, I guess there is time to review those regrets and see which doors have been closed to me forever and which ones are still open for me to walk through. My Insecurities are my internal prison guards and perhaps it is time to stage a revolt, bust out of those chains and soar like an eagle. Sounds good, but in reality I have been held captive for too long, a victim of “Stockholm Syndrome.” I have begun to agree and even help out my insecurities, I have joined their cause and wear the tee-shirt. As this mental conversation takes place, I counter with,”Wait a minute, what about freewill and why am I not exercising mine?” “Good question, wish I had the answer.” is my only reply. Today I am stuck in the quagmire of regret, but if I proceed to gently pull myself up and crawl toward solid ground, I will make it. The key is to focus on the ground in front of me and not struggle with the murkiness that surrounds me, letting it pull me back under. I am struggling, but still alive and as long as I have a semblance of a future, I can shape what is left of my destiny, free of regrets….Wish me luck for land is in site and I am heading there.

Advertisements

The American Dream At Christmas

 We hear about the “American Dream” and how we should all strive to achieve it. Have you ever noticed that the “American Dream” consists of STUFF…houses, cars, travel, and frequent trips to the mall to purchase more. During this season of hope and good will I would like to challenge all of you to rethink your version of the American Dream..The great American Dream would be that the homeless have shelter and the hungry are fed. It would be wonderful if there were shoes on the feet of all, not Nike’s but rather shoes that were clean and did what shoes are supposed to do. The American Dream would eradicate violence from our homes, streets and schools and we would have an “America” where a good education was available regardless of the state, city or neighborhood you lived in. I dream of an America where I can say Merry Christmas and wish you a good day without being accused of being insensitive, for I am not offended when you celebrate your holidays or cultures. The American Dream is not about being a Republican or Democrat, it is about what is good for America. Families restored, respect for your fellow man and quality over quantity is my American Dream…these are just my reflections as we celebrate a time of good will and peace on earth!  May it reign for 365 days of the year and not just a few weeks in December!