THE GOLD CARD AND THE THREE LITTLE PIGS

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Once upon a time in the land of Ding-a-ma-doo, lived three little pigs in an over-sized shoe.

Now this shoe once housed children and a mother distraught, who had whipped those poor children until she was caught.

Once the house was foreclosed and the mom locked away, the pigs bought the house the very next day.

The floors were uneven, tarnished and worn, the windows were broken, and the draperies were torn.

The toilet was clogged with toys and kid poo, the tub with a residue of sticky blue goo.

The heater didn’t heat, the freezer didn’t freeze, the dust mites ran rampant while the pigs coughed and sneezed.

“Oh my what a mess, what shall we do?”  said the littlest pig who wasn’t quite two.

“Oh hush and be still while I ponder this mess!” said the one little pig who pondered the best.

Now the third pig was listening and puffed out his chest, taking his Gold card from out of his vest.

“No need to worry, I can get all the stuff to make our shoe shine with floors you don’t buff!”

So off those pigs went to the GET IT NOW STORE, whose motto is “buy it, you always need more.”

Each pig took a cart and off they did trot, filling their cart with every whatnot.

Duct tape and pipes, wood and some screws, gallons of paint in various hues.

Flooring and tiles, a hand-woven rug and even a bathtub with a platinum plug.

When their carts were full, off they did head to cashier 6 who was dressed all in red.

“Did you find what you need. Are you sure you don’t need more?”  asked the pig dressed in red who was totally bored.

“Yes, Yes, Yes!” all three pigs replied.  Their joy was apparent; their thrill they couldn’t hide.

“Will it be cash or credit? I see you’ve purchased the best.”  “Gold credit” said the pig, the one in the vest.

So the cashier he tallied and punched in the keys. With the ticker tape growing up to his knees.

With a stroke of the keys, the cash register stopped and the number before them flashed with a pop.

“Two zillion and twenty, sixty- four is what’s due, paper or plastic? It’s all up to you.”

Those pigs were elated as they left the box store, with all that they needed and so very much more.

They hammered and papered, painted and sawed, fixing the things that once were quite flawed

On the day they were finished, the day they moved in, all of their troubles would now just begin.

They held a big party and invited the town, served a big brunch, entertained with a clown.

People toured the pigs’ shoe and exclaimed with delight, “You said you could fix it and you did the job right.”

“It’s shiny and glossy, not vulgar or crass.  You’ve made it a showplace. You’re pigs with such class.

Those pigs how the shimmied and puffed out their chests.  Proudly proclaiming they now owned the best.

Now the very next day at quarter past five, the very same time the mail would arrive,

The three little pigs were having their tea and enjoying their home in denial you see,

For the mail contained bills from the GET IT NOW STORE and the very next day the mail would hold more.

Gold credit you see is easy to get, you spend it and spend it and then you must fret,

“How do we pay? Oh, how we regret!”

Those three little pigs were suddenly poor while the bank took their shoe and showed them the door.

Now the moral is this, take heed if you dare, manage your money, handle with care.

Things are just things and stuff is just stuff.  Until you’re content there is never enough.

Take what you need, give when you can, the lessons the same for pigs and for man.

By: Cindi Walton (2016) whimsicalwordspublishing.com  waltonnana@gmail.com

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Alice in Trouble Land

All children throughout the world have gone through that awkward stage where trouble seems to follow them no matter what they do. Alice in Trouble Land is an easy to read book that follows Alice, a little girl who seems to stumble into trouble at every turn. Written in whimsical prose, Alice learns that even a beautiful butterfly must struggle before it can gracefully soar! A delightful read for young and old alike…easy read that early readers and non readers will enjoy. The charming pictures bring Alice’s story to life! Kindle and paperback available @ Amazon.com/books

Alice working cover

My Best Friend

 

Staring at my coffee maker waiting for it to trickle out my first cup of coffee, I suddenly realize that I anticipate this steaming beverage like the arrival of a long lost friend. The seconds it took to brew found me antsy as I waited to wrap my hand around that hot mug.  I am addiction to coffee, an addition I freely submit to.  I love the caffeine wake up buzz, but it is so much more than that.  Coffee is the friend that has been present for every event in my adult life.  It has jump started me in the morning, calmed me when I’ve been upset, and has been my reading buddy for literally every book I have read in the last 35 years.  Coffee is a constant and dependable factor in my life.  It has varied in strength, temperature and quality but it has always been there, good, bad and every form in between.  Whereas a sunset can bring out the poet or romantic, coffee brings out my focus, it somehow says “you can do it, it will be okay, just look around and focus.”  In my head I know that my coffee friendship is a figment of my imagination, but that doesn’t matter.  A cup of coffee gives me what a good friend can, hope, direction and the push to do what needs to be done.  I wonder how many people through the centuries have come to make friends with this brown colored liquid.  It can be served in so many different ways and that makes it the perfect companion for the masses that partake of it.  I love to watch and listen to people as they order their coffee drinks.  The drink they order is as unique as the person who is drinking it. Expresso, lattes, mocha’s Americano, skinny, frappe, iced, sugar and cream to name a few.  I have had all of the fore mentioned but hot black coffee is my favorite way to interact with this friend.  I remember my grandmother telling about the ration coupons during WWII and coffee was one of the things that was in short supply.  I can’t imagine that being the case for me but I know that a day may come when I am no longer able to drink from this cup of friendship, so for now I will enjoy my friend for as long as I can and continue to share my memories with my best bud, Coffee.  Friendship in a nutshell, or in this case…a bean~

Book excerpt from The Granny Monologue by Cindi Walton

                      Prologue:

It started out as a normal Tuesday.  I use the word “normal” loosely since no one has their boobs squeezed by a machine every Tuesday as far as I recall, but the point is this; I didn’t see that damn bus coming. The one that hit me and I do mean that literally.  I was indeed hit by a bus, it may have belonged to the local nursing home, but it was a bus all the same and it changed my world forever.

        ~ Crap Happens ~

We’ve all used the phrase, “I feel like I’ve been hit by a bus” to describe how our bodies feel when we hurt from one end to the other.  I’m here to enlighten you, when you’re actually hit by a bus, the pain is not evenly disbursed.  I can now speak as an authority on such matters.  Eight weeks ago, after completing my annual Pap smear and mammogram, I left my gynecologist’s office and stepped smack dab in front of the local nursing home transport bus.  I won’t bore you with the initial details, but I was told, “I swore like a sailor, asked Jesus to save me, and then requested that the attending paramedic fetch my purse.”   I’d stuffed my brassiere in the side pocket of the darn thing since I was heading straight home.  In my defense, I highly doubt the person who witnessed my accident had ever been in the presence of a cursing sailor, thus making their judgement about my outburst irrelevant.  This was one of those days when crap happens and you can’t possibly begin to imagine the twist and turns of fate that await you.  It didn’t take long for me to realize I’d never look in the mirror and see myself as I did prior to making that particular bus connection.  I had left the house that fateful Tuesday, a woman who’d just turned sixty the week before and had never felt better or more alive in my entire life.  In the course of one day, one event and one hospital stay…I’d been diagnosed as “Old!”  Now I want you to keep in mind this diagnosis was not made by any health professional that had part of the alphabet behind their name.  There was no MD, DO, or PhD, but rather the word “aide.”

I guess I should back up and give you the Reader’s Digest version of what happened once they scraped me off the pavement and transported me to the hospital, which was just across the street from where I was hit.  I guess you could say I was strategically located in the perfect location if one chooses to walk in front of a moving vehicle.  Once I was delivered to the emergency room, it was quickly discovered that I had broken my left hip and femur, fractured my right wrist and managed to do a number on my neck and shoulders.  Quite clearly I was “up a creek without a paddle” not that I could’ve paddled my way out of this mess if I’d wanted to.  My husband was summoned, surgeries ensued and my world was suddenly a Broadway production with me starring in the lead role.

Press Release for The Granny Monologue

For Immediate Release

Cindi Walton
Whimsical Words Publishing

waltonnana@gmail.com
http://www.whimsicalwordspublishing.com

When others begin to view you as “old” do you give in? Hell No, because aging ain’t the same as dead!

Kingsley, Michigan – February, 28 2016 – The Granny Monologue: When an accident lands you in a nursing home to recover and suddenly others view you as “OLD” do you sit back and take it? Hell No! Follow the humorous rant of a sixty year old woman who refuses to call herself old! Between granny panties and housecoats, she learns the truth about life’s ticking clock…aging ain’t the same as dead!

This comedy of errors is the newest release from author Cindi Walton and is now available on Amazon.com/books in both paperback and kindle editions

The Granny Monologue: Aging ain’t the same as dead! by Cindi Walton

Cindi Walton, a Northern Michigan native who is in love with her neck of the woods, even though she could do with a little less winter. Cindi is the founder of Sock Monkey Nation, a kindness and anti-bullying program. For more information please visit http://www.sockmonkeynation.com

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